I'm all about the love on Valentine's Day, but I have questions. First, is there an apostrophe in Valentines or not?
Second, what do you get your sweetie after several years together? Do you default to candies, flowers and dinner out or try to outdo yourself every year?
Do chocolates say you want her to get fat? Is it appropriate to chomp on some of her candy?
I thought I had this crap figured out back when I was a kid. All I had to do was get some Red-Hots and a half dozen roses (Hey, I was a kid on a budget). These days, a bruthuh has to step up his game. The "sweetheart" roses look cheap and small. How's that gonna look on Instagram, ya cheap ass!
And chocolates...you can't get the cheapies. You need high-quality edibles. Women know the drug stores brands, so DO NOT...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD...get those.
Good luck to all my brothers in love today and tonight. Hopefully you'll get the right gifts and you'll knock it out of the park.
By the way, if you find a killer combination, let the rest of us know.