Deuce's 10 Restroom Rules For Men

What up, Deuce here. I don't like public restrooms. Im that guy that wants to get in and get out as quickly as possible. But I particularly don't like being trapped in a restroom with guys that don't know proper etiquette. Like the guy that wants to have a full on chat at the urinals. Maybe it's time to refresh everyone on the proper etiquette in the mens restroom. In case you have forgotten, please see my "10 Bathroom Rules for Men"

  1. "STEP ASIDE GOOD SIR" - If more than one open urinal, pick the one farthest away. Always leave a space.
  2. "YO CHATTER BOX" - No talking to person at urinal or on toilet. No chit chat please. Thanks
  3. "WHOA HIGH FIVE GUY" - No touching, ever... UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES. No high fives, hand shakes, fist bumps, and absolutely NO PATS ON THE BACK While that person is at the urinal.
  4. "HEY GORDON GEKKO" No one wants to hear your business while you're in the stahl dropping your business. Seriously no one wants to hear your loud business call while you're dropping a deuce.
  5. "NO BUENO BLUE STEEL" - Under no circumstances should you ever be taking selfies in the restroom. In fact no pictures EVER in the restroom.
  6. "WHATCHA LOOKIN AT PETE GAZER" - Never look over, under, or make direct eye contact. Eyes forward at all times.
  7. "DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS" - Seriously? You brought a drink or food in here? Gross, never bring food or drinks into restroom
  8. "IT'S JIMMY BUFFER" - Always leave a buffer between stalls
  9. "KEEP IT CLEAN HOMIE" - Clean up after yourself. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.
  10. "TED BUNDY LIVES" - Don't linger. It's creepy. Finish, zip, wash n go!

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