Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

Angi Taylor Show Recap With Jay The Gay - 6-1-2023

Photo: Flickr RF

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

Oh weekend, one day away feels so damn far (even though we're only technically working four days this week.) Still though, with the weekend comes amazing things like drinking, binge drinking, drinking in a yard, drinking in a pool, drinking in your frontroom while you play video games and rage.... Anyway, another thing some people will end up doing this weekend is going to the movies and guess what fellow boomers, there is a new Indiana Jones movie coming soon. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny finds an 800 year old Harrison Ford donning the familiar fedora one last time and it surely will be something (you can insert what kind of something it will be on your own, who knows if we'll end up getting a sponsorship for the movie.) Anyway, a story came from the set about how curmudgeon old grandpa Harrison Ford had a meltdown when a stunt man tried to help him off a horse. The swear laden tirade is one in many various showcases of how much of a bitchy old man Harrison Ford truly is. Another legendary example involves him being asked whether Indiana Jones or Han Solo would win in a fight. All this though was just the precursor to a dual part lack of knowledge drop by Angi & Abe which truly showcased why we are the number 1 morning hub for misinformation. It all started when Angi said Han Solo would win because he has a lightsaber. Abe "corrected" her saying he has never used a lightsaber because "only Jedi's do that." We moved away from the lightsaber usage misinformation (because that comes back to haunt us shortly) to instead discuss Harrison Ford's pink stud earring (which he probably doesn't wear in the movie.) The discussion turned to how men like Ford and Morgan Freeman aren't cool enough to rock earrings while Steven Tyler and Michael Jordan are. We thought we were leaving all this behind following that by Angi suggesting that if you ever meet Harrison Ford, to ask him where Han Solo's lightsaber is. However, as one would expect on this show, we were immediately corrected during the next segment. An email came through explaining that not only did Han Solo use a lightsaber (a blue one) but that he used it twice. One to cut open a Tauntaun and the other time to kill himself. Abe was corrected but instead of admitting he was wrong, he doubled back and said that he meant he never fought anyone with a lightsaber. Abe then complained about how he was able to use it, how he turned it on (since he's not a Jedi) and questioned why it was blue (again.) Panterica jumped into the studio to chime in and of course, she had no idea what she was talking about. As you should know by now, no one from this show seems to know anything (outside of me, I'm the only person on this show who has any semblance of knowledge.) We finally settled all this mess with Panterica discussing wanting to bang Chewbacca because he's so tall and Abe wanting to get a piece of Leia (whose name he proceeded to pronounce wrong.) Jesus Christ, I need another day off...maybe even a week.

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Since we're clearly idiots on this show, it's only fitting that dumb things you believed as a kid would make sense for a daily discussion topic. This was inspired by a Reddit thread and let me tell you, there may be gemstones in there but in the studio, there are diamond duds. For example, when Angi was a kid, she thought babies come from your belly button. She realized this was not the case when she had her first and only kid. As for Abe (deep breath, exhaled sigh,) he thought that Puff the Magic Dragon was just a dragon but apparently it's about weed. The cartoon played some part in this but I'm staring at a bottle of Captain right now that's about to be opened. There was also his incredibly famous (as in repeated plenty of times) point about how he thought bathtubs created chocolate milk. Like you would get in there covered in muck, clean yourself off and the remnant was chocolate milk. (Sidenote: I'm pouring myself a drink right now.) As for myself, I thought that things would get better as an adult, boy did I get that one wrong. On the thread, we also had some incredibly stupid thoughts that included one person who thought that songs being played on the radio were done by live bands in the studio each time they came on. "Don't drink and drive" refers to all forms of beverage. All cats are girls and all dogs are boys was another one which Abe apparently also thought at some point. If it was raining where you are, it's raining everywhere. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows (which is clearly wrong because Abe showed us it comes from bathtubs.) Eating watermelon seeds would cause a watermelon to grow in your stomach (another one that Abe thought of as well.) Turning the light on inside the car was illegal. Ripping the tag off a mattress would send you to federal prison. Rumble strips on the side of the road were to keep blind people in their lanes. Abe though offered up two more childhood insights and I just, you guys, I just. One involved him assuming Hulk Hogan got as big as he was from just working out (which was reasonable to assume as a kid.) The other though, apparently in the 50's, alot (strong emphasis on A LOT) of people would put on Superman capes and jump off their roofs thinking the cape would make them fly. Right then, I'm going right to the Request Line because I can't, I just can't anymore. Kari thought that North America and South America were their own planets. We got another Abe point when he explained his irrational fear of being sucked down the drain until Mr. Rogers calmed him. (Right then, heavy pour it is.) Lou assumed that pee was stored in your balls which Abe totally understood and probably assumed as well as a kid. Neil caught his parents having sex at 12 and believed they were poking his pregnant mothers baby. Abe said this is only possible if you're Dirk Diggler (even heavier pour.) Kevin said when he watched The Brady Bunch, he assumed it was a real family on his TV and that he and his family were on someone else's TV. Mary felt like she could communicate with people like Bozo through the TV. Dawn made her mother cut the elastic off her PJ's because she figured the marks that her PJ's were leaving were actual marks from monsters. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (The Angi Taylor Show) and read up or drop us a comment.

It's June which means schools either out or about to be for seniors forever. For that reason, we're hearing stories about some "epic" senior pranks that have occurred recently. For example, one class put their high school up on Zillow. Another filled their toilets with cement (because causing literal physical property damage is such a prank!) However, the one we looked at today was a class of 70 seniors who broke into their principal's house and slept on her kitchen floor. For some strange reason, the principal was okay with the prank that again, is a literal crime. The principal whose name is Joy ended up finding her kitchen covered in kids at 6 A.M. after they snuck into her house at 1 A.M. The whole thing was filmed so you see her genuine reaction (freak out) when she opens her kitchen door, closes it and then opens it again with a better reaction. She ended up referring to this Stand Your Ground offense as the most beautiful sight she could ever imagine. This inspired Angi & Abe to think of ways to prank our over the top a-hole garbage boss Todd. Abe suggested he and Angi do the sleepover prank (Todd would shoot them without a second thought) and Angi said they should fill his home toilets with cement. Abe had one more great idea to lock that bastard out of his office but then he'd just come hang in the studio (and if you're like me and had to endure him off air, you would understand why this would be hell.)

Finally, boomer doomer Angi is old and remembers Duck Hunt. That alone would be a funny enough way to end these notes but let's take it a step further and discuss a 25 year old in North Carolina who recently used a painted black Duck Hunt gun to rob a convenience store. The robber got away with $300 but was caught down the street where I'm assuming real guns were pointed at him. This led to a discussion of the original Nintendo that Abe had that came with Duck HuntGyromite and R.O.B. the robot. Angi did not have that version but the one with Duck Hunt and Super Mario Brothers. Hell, she only knows it from Pawn Stars as is because as she's reminded us plenty, she was poor. That said, I too had the R.O.B. Nintendo and that this was so stupid as was the game. She was honestly quite lucky to have the Duck Hunt/Super Mario Brothers pack and I won't hear otherwise.

Request Wars 2.0

Champion: Angi (Streak: 2)

Angi's (repping Roger) Song Choice: "Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction

Abe's (repping Charlotte) Song Choice: "Rock N' Roll High School" by The Ramones

Winner: Angi

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: Oscar the Grouch

It's his birthday and as laughing Pete Rose showcased, he was born in 1969 making him 54 years old. We also found out from Angi that he molested Slimy the Worm and Abe's favorite Sesame Street character was Ernie (because of course it is.) As for Angi (and myself) Grover is our main dude.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"I feel like if I gave you (Abe) a grenade, you would pull the pin and explode yourself." - Angi

"I wish I had a tapeworm. Wouldn't you (Angi) want a tapeworm?" - Abe


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